Are you a single woman who would prefer to be in a long-term, committed relationship or marriage… with a man who cherishes you?
I recently spoke with a client who asked me something along the lines of, “If I were to meet and attract my forever partner as quickly as possible, what sorts of steps should I be taking? In other words, how would I meet my husband within a month?”
And honestly, I loved this question.
Not because someone could mistakenly interpret her question as being an impatient one, but rather, because of the amount of dedication, commitment, and totality inherent in it.
She might as well have said, “What are all of the things I could do to call in a highly aligned, dream partner?”
So, I wrote her a list. Much of it is included in the following article.
If you follow this verbatim, are you guaranteed to meet your spouse within the next 30 days? No. But it will absolutely get you much, much closer to that goal.
The main reason that most women who read this won’t get results with it is because they won’t actually take the action required. Talk is cheap, action is everything. And some of these things are more challenging than others.
But hey, if you’re looking for an outcome you’ve never experienced, it’s going to require doing things you’ve never done before.
Now, first, to the skeptics…
Is It Possible To Speed Up Calling In Your Dream Man?
As of the time of my writing these words, I’ve been helping people with their intimate relationships for 15+ years.
In that time, I have helped hundreds of people go from single to happily married. And of those that I helped find their spouses, many of them had been unhappily single for years before we talked, I helped them shift something unique to them, and within a few weeks to a few months, they called in their dream partner. As of today, the fastest turnaround (from single to meeting their spouse) that I’m aware of is just under two weeks.
I say all of this not to brag, but to highlight that 1) rapidly calling in a highly aligned partner is entirely possible, and 2) it is often the case that we’re just one small shift away from drastically different results.
A different way of looking at things. A different way of perceiving an aspect of ourselves (who says you’re “too much,” “not enough,” or that “guys are intimidated” by you?). Or sometimes, simply taking one small shift in daily behavior.
All of this to say…
Yes, you can absolutely meet and attract your dream man in short order… if you are willing to have some of your blindspots or deeply held limiting beliefs challenged, or you’re willing to take a new action that a previous version of you wouldn’t engage in.
Alright, let’s get into this. Without further ado…
Here is a step by step process that will help you rapidly attract the most highly aligned intimate relationship of your life.
How To Find A Husband In 30 Days
Extreme results call for extreme measures. Again, the timeline of this exercise matters less than the totality with which you engage with it. One of my earliest mentors used to say, “99% is hard as hell, and 100% is easy.” In other words, half-assing anything in life brings us partial results and a lot of frustration. Conversely, committing to something with our full weight behind it often brings us incredible results at a rapidly expedited pace. So, dabble in the following advice at your own peril.
If I had to summarize this entire strategy in two words, it would be alignment and exposure. Each phase of this two-part journey will have varying areas of difficulty depending on the person engaging in this type of a program. If you have struggled with standards, boundaries, and authenticity, then phase one will likely be more challenging for you. And if you have historically struggled with vulnerability, putting yourself out there, and letting yourself be seen, then phase two would likely be the more challenging half of the program.
Alright, here we go.
1. Immediately end any and all situationship / complicated / fuck buddy / half-romances with no real potential
One of the fastest ways to guarantee that we will not meet our person is to signal to God/life/the universe that we are still energetically investing in things that we know in our hearts to not be aligned with.
This step has two parts to it.
First, if there are any people that you’re semi-dating that you know you feel totally lacklustre about, it’s time to end those dynamics as immediately as possible. It isn’t going anywhere and you know it. At a certain point, dating people’s potential simply becomes tiresome and not worth it. And engaging in misaligned relationships is nothing more than knowingly standing in our own way and blocking the future we say we want.
Second, there might also be some people that you definitely aren’t dating, but they are still people that you give romantic energy to that you know you shouldn’t. Things like occasionally flirting with a co-worker in a harmless manner, or interacting with married men in a way that you know, deep down, crosses a line.
Even though situations like these are not romantic relationships, they are still you leaking relationship energy in directions that you know are not your future husband, and this kind of behavior erodes the likelihood of you meeting your dream man.
I’ve heard some women protest against this point with things like, “But if I’m just innocently flirting with a bunch of men, won’t that increase my odds of meeting a man because I’m signaling to life that I’m open and available for a relationship?” Which is a cute bit of mental gymnastics, but it is ultimately self-defeating. I mean, yes, if you’re looking to land in *any* relationship, then yes, this spray-and-pray strategy would land you in *any* relationship sooner than later. But you’re not looking for any relationship, you’re looking for the person you’re going to be happily married to for years/decades.
This strategy is akin to wanting a job and just throwing thousands of resumes up in the air all over town. Sure, McDonald’s might pick up your resume off the ground and hire you, but is that the multi-decade career you’re looking for? (No shade to McDonald’s. I worked there for three years in my teens and they were a wonderful company to work for with great training systems.)
So, if you’re looking to call in an aligned, healthy, nourishing, reciprocal intimate relationship, you immediately need to end any and all semi-romantic connections that you know are not it for you.
There is no bypassing this step.
This is not a case of “The monkey shouldn’t let go of one tree branch until it firmly has a grip on the next one.” No. In my experience, both personally and professionally, life needs to see that you are actually serious about what you say you want by you demonstrating being willing to let go of the old, misaligned connections first. Drop the misaligned first, and then you will be in a position to fill the gap with something far better.
2. Immediately drop any and all lower-self behavior that you know isn’t aligned with the person you want to be
Are there things you regularly engage in that you know feel off for the person you want to become?
Things like drinking, smoking, or binge-watching reality TV. Meeting up with friends to complain about your lives, or going on shopping sprees that leave you feeling empty.
These habits can seem small, but they’re still important to take stock of and shift with conscious awareness.
The more of these layers of false-self that we regularly engage in the more barriers there will be between us and our deeply aligned, dream partner.
Why’s that? Because we can’t hope to call in a deeply aligned partner if we ourselves aren’t consistently showing up as our own deeply aligned selves. Life isn’t looking to do our work for us and just give us the gold medal without us having to run our own race. We must demonstrate first, and reap the rewards second.
3. Change any and all major pillars of your life that exhaust you
For some women, as they audit the life they are leading, they might realize that something larger than just a tiny, intermittent habit is misaligned. In fact, they might realize that one of the biggest pillars of their lives that they give a ton of their waking hours to is deeply misaligned.
You might love for me to say, “Hey! All good girl! That stuff won’t impact your results at all!” But of course, that would be ridiculous.
Whether it’s your day job, your closest friends, or your hobbies that are taking up the majority of your time, if they are misaligned and/or exhausting, then yes, that would absolutely dim the light of your Bat-Signal. Does Batman even have a Bat-Signal anymore? I don’t know. But the version of Batman that I grew up with had a Bat-Signal, so I’m rolling with it.
If you hate your job, resent your friends, or engage in joyless hobbies, change these as soon as possible.
Rom-com fantasies of a man seeing your hidden shine don’t reflect reality. In the real world, not addressing your issues will attract men seeking a project, not a partner.
So yes, that thing that you’re thinking about? The “Do I really have to change this” thing? The answer is most likely yes.
If you absolutely hate your job and it eats up half of your daylight hours, that will impact your results.
If you dislike your closest friends and yet continue to spend a good amount of time with them? That will also impact your results.
If major areas of your life break you down or exhaust you, they hinder you meeting your dream man. Being your authentic self makes it easier to meet an aligned, emotionally available partner.
And when you do meet him, you will know that he resonates with the deepest part of you because you will be embodying those aspects with your sheer existence on a daily basis. By deploying courage and letting yourself be authentically yourself, full-time, and out loud.
Alright, deep breath!
So that was part one. As I mentioned, all three of those points ultimately come down to alignment.
If you are not beaming your authentic CareBear heart out into the world, how could your dream man possibly make you out in a crowd?
The first step is drop everything that’s misaligned, and build a happy single life where you truly shine.
Once you’ve done that, it’s time for part two. Part two all comes down to exposure.
First thing to do is start with the lowest hanging fruit, via the people who know you best. In other words…
4. Tell your closest friends and family members that you are actively seeking aligned connections
There are likely a few people (close friends, coworkers, family members) who know you better than anyone else. Since these people know you well, tell them you’re open to meeting potential partners. You can ask them to inform you ahead of time so that you can avoid being flooded with blind dates.
Tell them you’re open to dating and share the key qualities you seek in a partner. This can help them make quality introductions. Expressing “Yes, I want this” to your people can also shift the energy in your life and help you meet someone organically.
5. Physically leave your house as much as possible
Today more than ever, it is incredibly easy to just never really leave your house. Maybe you’re retired or you work from home. Maybe you get your groceries and/or ready-made meals delivered via an app. Or maybe you do your workouts on your Peloton bike or via Yoga with Adriene on YouTube. Truly, there has never been a time where it’s easier to go several day stretches without setting foot outside of your home.
Consciously counteract this phenomenon by finding any and every excuse you can to simply leave your house.
Pick up your groceries yourself. In fact, pick up some groceries on a daily basis just to go to the grocery store more often (and eat fresher food as a result).
Go for daytime walks. Go to the beach or the forest or whatever nature features you have relatively nearby.
Catch up with friends in person. At coffee shops, restaurants, or by throwing a ball in the park instead of simply defaulting to phone chats.
Whatever creative excuses you use to be more visible in the real world, the more you put on shoes and physically leave your house, the better your chances are of meeting someone in the wild who catches your eye.
6. Join/Attend local interest groups that you find genuinely compelling
Assuming you want to have any lifestyle habits in common with your future spouse, shared interest groups are a great place to meet potential mates.
When it comes to what types of groups you want to check out, there’s two things to keep in mind.
The first group should be pre-established things that you already know that you enjoy engaging with. And the second group should be things that you’re curious about, or have always wanted to try but haven’t yet let yourself engage with.
In other words, things you already like and things you think you could like. This dual-pronged approach will therefore expose you to people who you already have overlap with, and also expose you to people who might be more aligned with the direction you’re heading in your life. So you’re cultivating and creating opportunities for aligned exposure with you 1.0 and you 2.0.
Yoga, bird watching, cooking classes, competitive speed-chess competitions. Whatever floats your boat! Do a quick Google search to see what kind of offerings are in your area, and sign up for them. Bonus points if they’re paid. The reason? You’ll be more likely to follow through and show up. Plus, the ticket price will tend to bring a higher calibre/more committed level of group members.
7. Join one online dating site that has a high barrier to entry, and one dating app that has the highest number of users
This point is last for a reason.
Think of engaging with online dating like a nutritional supplement, as opposed to the main course. Just like you wouldn’t live off protein powder alone, I don’t think people’s entire dating strategy should be online.
When people begin with online dating, it can quickly become demoralizing. Because endlessly swiping on 2-dimensional human faces can make partner seeking feel like a lonely, soulless cesspool of misery.
To find an aligned partner, I recommend the following approach. First, choose one dating site with a high entry barrier, like a 50+ question form and a fee. Then, pick a dating app with many users. This dual approach exposes you to both the most committed seekers and the largest dating pool.
Some people get lucky and find their partner quickly via dating apps, but they tend to be in the minority. Remember, I recommend using this as a supplemental method for finding partners. First, engage in the earlier points about meeting more organically in the real world.
And, there you have it!
By shaking up your life, you can align more deeply with your authentic self. Allow yourself more chances to interact with a broad yet aligned range of people. This will help you meet your dream man quickly.
Like I said, I’ve seen approaches like this work for hundreds of my clients in short order. Many of them have called in their dream partner in under a month of engaging in these types of behavior. The thing that matters most is totality. Will you truly let yourself lean into the courageous things that scare you the most within this article? That’s where the real growth occurs.
I wish you all the best in the coming months as you deploy courage and take action on these tips.
Dedicated to your success,
Jordan
Ps. If you enjoyed this article, you will also love checking out:
– Inside The Male Mind (video course for women, that helps you understand men’s deepest fears, needs, and desires)
– Magnetize Your Man (video course for women, that will help you dig deep, self-reflect and expedite your partner attracting abilities)
– How To Optimize Your Dating Profile If You’re A Catch
– Everyone Asks The Wrong Questions When It Comes To Finding The Right Partner
– ‘Why Am I Still Single?’ 5 Reasons + What To Do About It
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